the world of taie

The Power of Blog

2006-04-10T14:07:00.000Z

Meant to cover this AGES ago - but didn't - so here it is - a week late.

Check the link to see the true potential of blogging!!! The world is our oyster!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/4847424.stm

Gotta be starting something

2006-04-10T13:11:00.000Z

It MUST be spring now!

The sun is shining out side!

The sky is blue! The birds are singing!

Spring must be upon us! Although - if my whether telling skills are anything like last time - it will pour it down before the day is out - just to spite me!

You may have noticed I have not been around for a while. Basically - I couldn't be arsed! I have been in a kinda, what's the word - introverted mood recently. It probably had something to do with the weekender I had on the 1st and 2nd. I didn't get back to being near myself until about the 6th. And I have been really busy at work recently (it's great - I like being busy!) so had no time to write my irrelevant drivel on here while at work.

What with the break up of IT - I've kinda just kept my head down and got on with it. I suppose - even though the company is (or rather - has) broken in to two totally separate companies - I will have half as much to look after than before. But - since the IT department will be twice as small - I will have less people to help. I guess if I am being totally honest - I have coasted in my job for the last couple of years. I think this may be the ideal time to push myself on - take more responsibility - get more skills and push my self up. Don't get me wrong - I have absolutely no desire to move up the 'management' ladder - none at all - management is not for me. But technically - I want to improve and I want to improve my skills in that sense. And there is no better time than to start on that path now. As it is - there are three of us in the IT department. After a few bouts of redundancies in the past year - I am very clear in my head that if any of the IT department were going to be booted - I'd be the first one to go (I'm the youngest (by almost 20 years!)) so least experience, both my colleagues have been/are now IT managers, both have a certain degree of knowledge about my job but I have almost none about there jobs blah blah blah). Basically (and bluntly) - the department could get by without me - whereas the department would struggle to get by with out the other two.

So - now I have faced upto this - lets do something about it! And that's what I am going to do now. I wrote ages ago that I intended to get some qualifications and certify, so I am already 3 months behind - but time to push on me thinks!

Change of trak now - and I've been watching quite a few movies over the past week. I saw Broken Flower a couple of days ago (with Bill Murray). Its a good film - Bill Murray plays the same kinda role as he does in Lost in Translation - and although the film isn't up to those heights - it is still a good film and worthy of a watch. Click here to see a proper review (since I didn't even tell you what it is about!

Broken Flowers would have probably have had more on an impact if I had not watched Vozvrashcheniye (The Return) the day after. Its a Russian film - and its fucking marvellous. Obviously it is subtitled - and I'm guessing it is quite a rare film since I can't find an professional English review anywhere on the net - but it is a really really good film. The IMDB plot summary is: Two teenage Russian boys have their father return home suddenly after being absent for 12 years. The father takes the boys on a holiday to a remote island on a lake in the north of Russia that turns into a test of manhood of almost mythic proportions. And I know this is blatant plagiarism - but this is a review I found on IMDB of this film, written by a viewer - that quite neatly sums up the film:

'In Russian director Andrey Zvyaginstev's The Return, a father (Konstantin Lavronenko) revisits his family after an unexplained absence of twelve years to take his teenage sons on a fishing trip. Winner of the grand prize at the Venice Film Festival, The Return is a film of rare beauty and authenticity about the complex bonds between a father and his two sons and the need to discover one's self. First time director Zvyaginstev leaves much unexplained and the film, while a simple story on the surface, has suggestions of Greek mythology, political allegory, and religious parable. The film takes place in seven days, separated into segments. The two boys, Andrei (Vladimir Garin), who is about 13, and Vanya (Ivan Dobronravov), a year or two younger, are very different but have become attached to each other as a result of their father's absence.' The reviewer goes on to say 'The director has said that the film is about "the metaphysical incarnation of the soul's movement from the Mother to the Father." I'm not sure exactly what that means but the film taps into the universal need to love and be cared for, and the hurt that results when the need to be sustained and protected is thwarted. The film rekindled sad memories for me of what it felt like to be a child trying to reach a cold and distant father. Together with knowing that the young actor who played Andrei died in a swimming accident after the film was completed, made The Return a moving and painful experience.

All of which makes the film sound cold and desolte - which I guess is spot on - but it is well worth finding anf watching. I'll just finish by saying I'm already scouring the internet for details of other films by director Andrey Zvyaginstev and actor Konstantin Lavronenko. They were that good.

Anyway - time to revise - so I'll leave you to it :)

Week

2006-04-05T11:24:00.000Z

A week since my last post.

I've not been in a very communicative mood recently.

Still not I guess.

Change

2006-03-29T12:58:00.000Z

Feeling a bit woozy today.

Not because I'm ill or anything - just becasue there will be a big change going on at work soon.

Really quick summary. I work(ed) for a company that had two seperate departmentss - but we all worked for the same company. The IT Department I work in serviced both departments.

Then there was a management buy out - so the two departments are now two totally seperate companies, no connection between the two at all now. Which means the IT department is going to split in two - half go with the new company - and half stay with the old. I've known that for about a year - but because the IT department has had to oversee the split of the company - we have stayed together.

Its getting close to the time when IT is finally going to split though. And its a bit sad really. I get on REALLY well with everyone in the department - everyone knows everyone else really well - and we kinda buzz of each other to some degree. And in a month at most - we will be split and three of the people I enjoying working with will work for an entirely different company. One of them is probably one of my my trusted mates.

Its a funny feeling to have.

So do you?

2006-03-24T11:56:00.000Z

So do you blog everything?

If things happen in your life that are close to the bone - do you still blog them? Or do you shut things away from your blog that you feel are too personal?

I'm trying to work out which way I should go....

I need more!

2006-03-23T17:19:00.000Z

I admit it.

I get more and more drawn into Hayao Miyazaki's work everytime I read an article on him or see some of his work.

I now own Howls Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Kiki Delivery Service and My Neighbour Totono. And I need more!! I need my fix!

Anyway - been reading loads of new blogs today (I know, I was at work - but there good blogs) - so I have updated my list thingy to show them all. I'm not going to have enough hours in the day soon to read them! I'll have to employ readers for me to tell me whats going on ;)

Anyway - all this reading has made me sleepy - so I'm off.

Oh - and anyone (hello - ANYONE?) who reads this may notice I've deleted some posts that I put up last week (that had pics on). I had a severe attack of paranoia after what I posted earlier this week. It might have been irrarional - but I was convinced someone would see the posts of last week - realise who I was and then link me to the post from this week. That could have been a bit dodgy for me in a number of ways! So I blindly deleted articles (willy nilly [I always wanted to say that!]) that would defo give people big clues as to who I was.

Now I'm thinking clearly again - I can see I was rash - and that no one that reads this would have any idea who I am - but too late now...

*

2006-03-21T13:12:00.000Z

Its Tuesday now.

I went out Saturday 11pm and didn't finish until 2pm Sunday.

I didn't/couldn't sleep at all until Monday night.

I have just eaten my first meal since I went out at 12.17 Tuesday afternoon.

I had to skip work on Monday with some lame excuse.

I'm at work now - but shouldn't be really since I can hold a conversation and make it make sense, and I'm finding it very hard to concentrate on what I am typing now as well as pressing the right keys, in the right order. I'm keeping my head down, wishing the seconds didn't seem like hours - with no idea how I will make it through the next 4 hours un-noticed.

My hearing is still fucked.

My eye sight is wavy at best.

I've stopped feeling faint Monday evening. I stopped having a pins and needles sensation all over my body - including my face - on Monday evening.

You have to wonder if it is all worth it. Sure - while your out - in a state of euphoria, surrounded by people you care about who are also in a state of euphoria - dancing to the best god damn music on the planet - in one of the best clubs on the planet - of course its worth it.

But when your coming down, and you realise the strain your putting on your 'normal' life, and the strain your putting on your body - you gotta wonder why. I've been wondering that for the past 24 hours (when my brain has let me focus on it...).

And yet I know - come Saturday April 1st - I'll be doing it all over again.

Now that really is fucked up.

*Apoligies if this entry makes no sense. In my current state - I'm amazed my brain is still in control of my fingers.

Dreamy Regrets

2006-03-16T12:00:00.000Z

Had a weird dream last night.

I'm not sure why I had it - I've not thought about this subject for quite a while. It was such a vivid dream though. It was pretty short (I was 7 - I was taking part in a Karate demo at a fete of some sort. Everyone was clapping and shouting and having a good time. It was an actual event in my life - so how I remembered it I have no idea). When I woke up though I couldn't work out why it had come into my head.

I guess it is my biggest regret really. My parents, when I was 6, asked me if I wanted to go to a Karate class at my local sports centre. I said yes and from the very first lesson I was hooked. I started training twice a week and flew through my gradings (like exams to get to the next belt) with full passes all the way upto black belt. I passed that first time, and was (at the time) the youngest blackbelt in Shotokan Karate in Yorkshire. I had started training 5 times a week by now - and twice a week at one of the best Karate schools in the UK in Leeds. I was competeing in National Championships - and at 14/15 had started taking classes at my local Karate club - and was helping someone out who was setting up his own club in Halifax - and I was only 15. I was just on the verges of the GB u16 squad - and then BAM! I went from training religiously 5 or 6 times a week (no wonder my parents look 20 years older than they are with all that driving me around!) to training once a week at best. I discovered girls and football. And it totally knocked me off course. I couldn't fit in playing football, chasing girls (unsuccessfully as wel!) and Karate in the same space. And at that age - I decided I liked football better than Karate. So I dropped Karate totally. It's my biggest regret.

I wonder what would have happened if I had kept going? I could possibly have made a good living out of it - or at the very least supplimented another job very well. Still - I guess I'll never know.

As it happens - I did OK at football too - I played Semi Pro for a couple of years and had some good times and good laughs. But I have never been anywhere near to making a living out of it.

I guess only having one regret in 29 years is not a bad ratio though so I can't complain (oh - not including never being able to marry Keira Knightly!!!)

Sometime, just sometimes, I wonder what if though.

What do I do?

2006-03-14T12:54:00.000Z

Its dinner time. But what do I do?

I can't really be bothered to leave my desk. Its cold and wintry outside and kinda dull.

But then - I can't be bothered sitting at my desk either. I've stared at this screen for 4 hours already!

Umph. Decisions decisions.

Ok - give me a couple of minutes to think about this.

*Taie walks away from PC and ponders his next course of action for two minutes*

*3 minutes*

*4 minutes*

Ok - decided! I'm gonna stay here and abuse the internet connection over lunch! Its just too cold and bleak out side to attempt anything else!

Before I go off and cause abuse then - I'll start one of those 'blog tags' that I filled in before. And since everyone loves Movies - I'd be pretty interested to see what sort of films you lot out there like. So - list your fave 5 movies, from any time period, of any nationality and of any genre. They have to be your top 5 movies of NOW - but you have free reign on which you pick! So, pop pickers, here is my count down, from 5 to 1:

5) Godfather Part 1 (1972)
I always think that a film is a good film if after watching the film you go about your daily life and then bits and pieces of the film jump into your head at weird times. When I first watched the Godfather part 1 - I thought it was an OK film. Good story, well told. And then the next day I started remembering bits of the film that had not clicked with me while I watched it. So I watched it again. And again. And again. And everytime I watch it, I notice something I missed every other time. It just grows on you. And everytime you watch it you realise just how strong the cast is - how well written it is and how beautiful the soundtrack is. Its just a top film in every sense of the word. Review

4) True Romance (1993)
Lets see. Christian Slater. Patricia Arquette. Brad Pitt. Dennis Hopper. Val Kilmer. Samuel L Jackson. Gary Oldman. Christopher Walken. Micheal Rapaport. James Gandofini. Bronson Pinchot. Tom Sizemore. Chris Penn.

Do I have to say anymore! How about written by Quentin Tarantino. Directored by Tony Scott.

Its the first movie I ever bought. It was the movie that clicked a switch inside me and made me want a movie collection. It was the Catalyst that got me interested in films. The cast is amazing (probably the best cast I have ever seen in the same movie). The direction is tight (although I'm not a big Tony Scott fan) and the script is class. I bought the video edition. I bought 2 different DVD edits. I bought the script. I have rolled up posters. I love this film - I've watched it a hundred times. And I still watch it even now. Review

3) Shichinin no samurai (1954)
I love the Japanese. I love the culture and the places and the people. That has nothing to do with me loving this movie though. This subtitled masterpiece is set in gorgeous 18th century Japan. The backdrops are stunning, the story twists and turns for the full 160 minutes wherein the cast excel. Its a powerful, emotional, visually compelling ride and it just goes to show you don't need a a £20million budget to create a masterpiece is ever sense of the word.
Review

2) Amores Perros (2002)
Think this was one of the first films I ever saw that told three totally separate stories and then brought them all together in one incident. Again a subtitled film (think this one is Mexican) directed by Alejandro GonzÃ¡lez IÃ±Ã¡rritu and starring Gael Garcia Bernal in one of his first starring roles. Its fantastically shot, the story(ies) wind around each other without you realising and it drags you in and never lets you leave until the end. Its a brilliant, well written classic.
Review

1) Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (Spirited Away) (2001)
Not sure what to say about this. It pushes a button in me EVERYTIME I watch it. its impossible for me to switch the DVD on and watch a few minutes because every single time I watch it - it pushes something inside me and I just can't tear my eyes away. Its an animation/cartoon but it is so so so much more than that. I can't describe in words how I feel when I watch this movie. Its like every single second is a beautifully crafted, elegantly portrayed marvel. I honestly can't find the right words to describe it. Its like every part of this film has been honed to perfection. I'm not going to say anymore about this cos I'm can't do it justice. Just find it at Blockbusters, sit back and absorb utter perfection.
Review

So there you go. I have to say Lost in Translation and City of God were both in and then out of my top five, and 21 Grams, Twilight Samurai and Crash were also there or there abouts.

And as for the bloggers I am tagging - here you are (I love you all!)

1) Jaded City - I'm sure there will be some interesting (and angry) choices here!
2) Don't Panic - If Violent Femmes has made a movie - it would be in this list!
3) Delikzs - If Google had ever made a movie - it would be in here!
4) Feisty - Another blog I have just started to read - will be an interesting read I'm sure!
5) Funky Ass Randomness - Only just started reading this blog - but if her list is as interesting as her blog - yippee!

I guess that sorts my dinner out then!!!!

Taie Conquers Everest

2006-03-14T08:52:00.000Z

Cccccccccold.

Tttttttttttttttteeth cccccccccchattering.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhands shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaking.

I only have one thing to say. Don't go running at 6 in the morning when it is snowing. And then sleeting. Then hailing. And -2 degrees.

Ok - thats four things. But you get the message!

I did it though!!!! Yippee!!!

Bothered?

2006-03-09T12:24:00.000Z

I watched a film a couple of weeks ago that was fan-fucking-tastic. But I am not really in the mood to write about it. Its called Twilight Samurai - and I'll tell you all about it later!

These blogs things are funny. I have to be in the right mood to write my entries. Like today for example - I have a couple of things I want to write - but am just not in the right mood to do it.

So, since I seem to be well down on the amount of blogs I read, and not in the mood for writing, I'm going to widen my field and spend this time reading new blogs. I'll post the links of any I like on here soon.

I might get some pics taken too (obviously not of me) and post them on here soon.

Everyone stay happy...

2006-03-09T12:03:00.000Z

And they all sat, waiting, watching, needing

2006-03-08T12:10:00.000Z

Morning people.

I'm really busy at work - so if this post kinda ends half way through - don't fear - I'll finish it later.

Ok - my weekend. Here goes with the boring moving house story. Skip this bit if you have a life!

I spent Thursday up in Middlesbrough sorting the gf's stuff out - packing it up, unplugging cookers and washing machines and generally getting everything ready for Friday - when a mate of the gf was going to bring up a big van to get everything in and down to Leeds. Everything was ready - we just needed to pile it in the van and take it out at the other end.

Things looked like they were going to go wrong though when we got a call Thursday evening saying the van that was supposed to be coming up to pick us up was in fact still down south somewhere. We were vanless. And I had left my driving license in Leeds - so I couldn't hire one myself.

Eventually we pulled in a few favours and got a van (and driver!). But when it turned up it was miles too small. Or so we thought. I think it must have had Tardis like properties - since I am still gobsmacked how we got all the stuff in we needed to. It is still a mystery how it all fitted in. Anyway - off we set back down to Leeds - unpacked and everything was hunky doory. The house is still a little upside down - but it it definately on the right tracks...so all is good!

Next time I move though - I'll just get Pickfords in. No worries - no hassle. They pack your stuff up, move it, and unpack it again. Its not cheap - but it might mean I keep my natural hair colour a bit longer ;)

Ok - if you were skipping the moving part - you can start reading again now.

So - on to Saturday. I went first thing and got my hair cut. I'm not really into 'normal' cuts - I like to do weird or different stuff with my hair. I had a really really short haircut last time, grade 1 all over and then a grade three diagonal stripe that was bleached blond. Sounds rubbish - looked awesome. Anyway - I am seeing what it looks like it I grow it out now - so it is not a bit longer all over now and more a sorta surfy cut. I'd show you a pic - but then you'd know what I look like - and I like the annominaty that Taie gives me! So I guess since I can't really describe how i had it - just make it up in your head.

After the cut - I did not do very much all afternoon - a bit of tidying from the move and stuff - but nothing exciting.

That evening me and the gf went into Leeds to a club called Basics. We met up with loads of other mates in there - and had a fantastic time in all. Nic Fanculli was the guest DJ - and I've seen him a couple of times before - but this time I was not THAT impressed with him. However, Paul Woolford (a ressie) rocked it proper style! A top set that pretty much overshadowed what Fanculli did. Around came 7am - and we took a few people home for an impromptu house warming. Around came 9am - and I was still up for it - so I followed on at an after hours club on the outskirts of Leeds. I should not have done that though - since the gf stayed at home and so I went on with some of her mates. But when you go somewhere you haven't been before - with people your not 100% sure about - and your starting to come down - its not a nice feeling. I only stayed there 20mins or so - I had to get out and get home before I started getting paranoid. I unfortunatly I am still coming down. I caned it too much that night/morning - took too much and am now still feeling the effects. I need to calm it back a bit next time I'm out me thinks.

So that was my weekend. I had Monday off work to soak up some of the comedown. Was back at work on Tuesday...

So - who has heard of the Upper Room? They are a band from Manchester in the UK - and have just released there first single. Its gooooooooooooood! I'm not into Indie at all - but I really like the vocals of the lead singer. They released the first single on a limited edition 7" red vinyl (I like my vinyl!) and on the flip is an instrumental version of the single that really shows off his vocals. Check here to see what they are about. And - even better news - there on at the Cockpit in Leeds - supporting a unknown band. So I get to see them live!! Yippee!

Anyway - (at long last) - I was tagged ages ago to follow these:

"List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre. It does not matter whether they have words, or what decade they're from. The only requirement is that they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now. Post these instructions on your blog along with your seven song choices. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to."

I have a little bit of a problem with this though. I don't know seven other bloggers. In fact - I only regulary read two blogs. And they have both done the tag already! So I'll do the first bit (the 7 tunes) and then kinda blag the tagging bit ;) Here goes, my CURRENT top 7:

1) Hystereo - Validity Revision. It picks you up. It fucks with your head. It never puts you down. I love almost everything on Soma - and this is no exception. Quality tech house from a quality label.

2) Vector Lovers - Tokyo Glitterati. It's deep house - but it is sprinkly and light and makes you wanna close your eyes and drift away on a fluffy cloud. Or is that just me!

3) Razorlight - In the City. Mmmmmmmm - love the builds! Love his vocals too.

4) The Upper Room - All Over This Town. Poppy indie - nice feel good tune. Nice video too.

5) Lawnchair Generals - Avec de Gigolos. Its the theme tune for a animation called Bourneville Rendezvous. Its house with french vocals and its a Justin Long fave. I like!

6) Killers - Somebody Told Me (King Unique Vocal Mix). I like the song. I like this remix even better!!

7) Jeff Bennet - Virtualism. I remember hearing this at the weekend. And I remember liking it. But this is ALL I remember about it!!

NEVER AGAIN!!

2006-03-07T16:08:00.000Z

I say it every time.

But this time I mean it. Well - for the time being!

NEVER AGAIN!!

I know I have some tag thingys I need to sort out (heads up Rachel and Jaded) but my mind is a fluffy cotton wool cloud right now.

I'll sort it out soon though - promise!

I have loads of things to say today. But no motivation to get them out. I'll try again tonight.

And to put you all at rest - my stress is over!

Hahahaha!

Stressed

2006-03-01T12:24:00.000Z

I haven't felt stressed for years.

I do now though.

Really busy at work - but got to take Thursday and Friday off to move my gf stuff from Middlesbrough down to our new house in Leeds. So - will it all fit in the new house? In fact - will it all fit in the van we have hired to get it down. Its all got to go in one trip. We have already bought a flat pack bed that would fit snugly in a room - but by which you need twice the space to build it (which he haven't got). So thats £200 down the drain.

I'm just stressing about things. When you can't sleep - the little things grow until they seem like big problems. I'm just stressing over nothing - but it still pisses me off!

So - anyway - I'll be updating this blog next week. Everyone have a fantastic weekend - and stay safe

ARGH!

2006-02-27T21:18:00.000Z

OH FUCK!

I just wrote a big post. Then my PC crashed and it had not been auto saved.

I was in a fucked off mood before I posted. I'm even more fucked off now.

I can't even be bothered to re post it.

Fuck it!

Mobile Phone Nirvana

2006-02-22T11:14:00.000Z

Hey guys.

Did I tell you I had a new Mobile. After much thought - I went for a Nokia n70. I've included some pictures below - and I have to admit it is the best phone I've ever owned. Its not cutting edge (there are newer Symbian OS's with better screen res and better cameras etc) but for little old me - with a few enchancements I've made - its a really compact (for a Symbian) smart neat powerful phone. I like! Also - special note to Orange. Not for them fucking up the Active Screen on the phone - but for there brilliant customer service. I had to make a call to them about a problem - and the phone was picking up in under 5 rings and the fault was sorted in less than 2 mins. The same exercise to Vodafone and I'd still be waiting for someone to answer 5 days later!! And my tariff is cool too - 3000 text a month free but no call time free. Can you guess what I use my phone for the most!

Also - is seems boiler problems are widespead in East Leeds! My mate Rachel informed us in her last post that her boiler had given up the ghost - and 20mins after I read the post - my boiler started acting weird. I sometimes get heating. I sometimes get hot water. I generally get neither! I guess that's the cool thing about renting a house - someone else fixes things - so I'm waiting for a plumber to go around and fix it ASAP! By the way - the

'At least you don't have to do the crazy dance that the old boiler demanded, involving jumping from one end of the bath to the other and switching the bath taps on and off to ensure a steady flow of hot water'

comment from Rachels post really had me cracking up. At my parents house - you set the water to a nice temp - and then of its own accord it either turns red hot or freezing cold for a random amount of time and then reverts back to normal. Very annoying but Rachels comment made me remember it!

So there you go. Another non event of a post by me again! At least I'm getting good at doing no event postings now ;)

Take care peeps - might write more this afternoon...

Oh - just before I go. Razorlight. I'm a really big tech head - I'm really into Tech House and I'm down Basics/Technique and other clubs all over the UK as often as I can - i can't get enough of Tech House. But - I'm really into Razorlight at the moment. I really like the lead singers (Johnny Borrell) voice - and Carl Dalemo is very cute! In the City and Rip it Up and awesome tracks - and Golden Touch is pretty damn good too! Go buy it!!

The life and times of a weekend

2006-02-20T17:19:00.000Z

Hey everyone!

Life is good.

Admittedly it is hailing out side right now - but still - I'm in good spirits. Not exactly sure why that is - I can't put my finger on it - but still - I'm happy!

My weekend was a(nother) non event. Didn't really get upto much. The gf came down and stayed the weekend (and is staying the week) - and we moved loads of her stuff down to the new house.

She moves in for good on the 4th March - but most of her stuff is cluttering my spaces up already. We are a little bit of a role reversal to normal couples. I'm the almost anally tidy one. She is the very messy one!! Still - opposites attract.

I managed to grab an hour on the decks over the weekend too. I'd forgotten how absolutely rubbish I am at mixing. Totally. I've never been very good - but now I'm AWFUL. It doesn't help that the gf has LOTS of mates that DJ either for a living or are very very very good. I feel kinda inadequate about that. But then anyone that reads this often will know I feel kinda inadequate about 99% of my life! Where's that life coach when you need him/her!

On to another subject - I had the misfortune of re-reading my posts a couple of days ago. I'm not surprised no one reads these - nothing much happens in my life does it!!! Hahaha! That might change in the future - now I have a 'battle' plan in my head about what I want to achieve this year - I have goals and aims.

Just wish I was not so down on myself all the time. Its a VERY hard habit to get out of though...

Anyway - time to get some work done - so see ya all - and be good ;)

A+F

2006-02-16T14:59:00.000Z

Is it just me?

Am I late into this?

How can it have passed me by?

I thought they were just clothes that American students wore - and was a bit plain and American.

I've changed my mind! Abercrombie and Fitch - I salute you!!!

Of course it could be me - but I like that style! Pity I can't find ANYWHERE in the UK that sells them. At all. And even if I could - with all the bills I am paying now - I doubt I could afford anyway. That's life I guess.

Anyway - I'm sooo tired today. I think I'm burning my lights at both ends too much this week.

No - hang on - that's not right. Ahh - burning my candle at both ends. Is that the saying?

Whatever - going to bed at 1am and getting up at 6am for a run is not a good way to prepare for the day. And I'm feeling the consequences now! Still - back on track with my running/gym work - so i'll be posting an update next Wednesday for everyone (ie - no-one) that's interested.

As for my life - I'm in a quiet, lazy, slightly anxious place right now - and I need sleep. Once I get my sleep - I'll be in a slightly less lazy mood I think. I'll have to wait and see.

Anyway - a quick update on the house. STILL toiling away with the flat pack (that stuff hates me) but it is coming on strong and is feeling and looking like a home now - and not just a collection of rooms.

I really need to get out though. I haven't been clubbing for AGES now. I really wanna check out the new venue for Basics (used to be Stinkies) called My House - appartently the sound system is awesome and buzz is getting like it was when Basics was at the Pleasure Rooms. I need to get out of Leeds though as well - I wanna give Sankeys another go after last time - and Circus is Liverpool is also on my shopping list.

Bring it on....

Left

2006-02-14T17:48:00.000Z

It tears me apart when she leaves.

And it probably always will.

Fallen at the first

2006-02-10T10:13:00.000Z

Bollox!

You may remember (but probably not) this entry I wrote a while ago. Half way through I came up with the idea of shaming myself into getting into better shape than I am now by making my training regime (and results) public. I said I was going to keep it up.

It lasted a week!

I guess everyone who fails to live up to there own expectations can make excuses up as to why they did not do as they set out to do - but I'm not going to do that. I have had loads on [here comes the list of excuses I said I was not going to write down in the previous sentence!] - I have moved house, been working hard at work and had loads to do in the new place - but they are excuses as to why I have failed to do what I wanted to do. And I'm not going to hide behind that - I'm going to stand up and face upto my own laziness.

So - I'll start again. From today. I want more than anything to have confidence in my body and be as fit as I can be - its an ultimate goal and I'm not going to stop wanting that just because circumstance makes it hard to achieve. Think of the feeling I'll have when I get the physique I want! I'm not being vain (I'm possibly the least vainest person in the world) - I'm trying to improve my self confidence.

And I think I'll set myself a goal. I've wanted a tattoo for a while now - but have been putting it off and off. I've decided - I'll let myself have one when I have completed 10 weeks of non stop training. So that's 4 sessions a week for ten weeks. When I do that - I'll let myself have the tattoo.

(On a slightly different subject)
Actually - you guys could help me out with that (jeez - who am I trying to kid that anyone reads this!!). The tattoo I want (and whisper this - because this is the one and only time I'm ever going to tell anyone what the tattoo is of) to be the words:

Truth. Beauty. Freedom. Love.

I want it down the side of my shoulder blade - kinda between my side and my should blade - but I want the words in Chinese. And I don't know any Chinese. So if anyone knows the symbols for those four words - can they let me know - please!!

So going back to my aims of my training - I might as well take this opportunity to do a kinda 'New Years' list of things I want to accomplish this year. I normally don't like these sorts of lists - but if I write them down and put them out there - I can at least aim to getting them all done. Self improvement is important to me - more so in the last couple of years - I feel in a way I'm standing still and letting the world pass by me - and I don't want that to happen any more. So these are the things I need to do and improve on I think. Some of them aren't cool or sexy - but who cares. I need to do more of what I want to do and enjoy rather than what other people perceive to be cool I think. Here goes:

Work:
1) Revise/Pass Installing, Configuring, and Administering Microsoft Windows 2000 Professional
2) Revise/Pass Installing, Configuring, and Administering Microsoft Windows 2000 Server
3) Start revising for Managing a Microsoft Windows 2000 Network Environment

Personal Development:
1) Train/workout 4 times a week
2) Post result here every Wednesday
3) Continue to keep this blog updated
4) Make time to do more artistic things (photos/videos)
5) Start DJing/practising to DJ again

Monetary:
1) Stop spending so much money on shit!

There you go - shouldn't be too hard should it (eck!)

On a final note - I've added some more blogs to my link list today. Ok, ok - I realise that my link list contains 1 guy and 6 girls - but its not a concious thing - I just really do think women write better than men! So thats what I read. And men want to disagree - feel free!

Anyway - back to the grindstone I guess.

Stay safe everyone and have a top weekend

I lost the last screw!

2006-02-09T22:39:00.000Z

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Blessed Relief!!

I fucking hate moving house. Its not as though I do it every week - but its such a ball ache. Moving stuff, sorting stuff, cleaning stuff. And the dreaded task of putting up flat pack furniture. Now normally - on a scale of one to ten - my DIY skills are around about one. No - that's too high - lets say 0.2! And so putting up a huge wardrobe from Ikea that comes in two boxes I can't even lift kinda fills me with dread.

And so there I have been all week - working my arse off at work all day (redundancy still on my mind - funny how hard you can work if you want to...!) - coming home and starting to build stupid flat pack furniture. Now that in my eyes is bad enough - but when Ikea can't even be bothered to use words on the instructions on how to assemble this god damn furniture - and then have the gaul to employ a blind man to draw the illustrations - it turns into more a Royal Marines exercise than anything else.

So it is with blessed relief that I write you this entry from the comfort of my bed. Ok - the bed is surrounded by badly half made planks of wood (I actually think some of them could be exhibited in an art gallery!) but at least I am chilling for the first time this week. And it feels good.

I guess I best make the most of it as well - since I'm busy all weekend clearing stuff to the tip, more furniture building (does it ever end!), sorting stuff and generally having no time to my self. So spare a thought for me Saturday night - while your getting ready to go out and making yourselves look nice - I'll be hitting my thumb with a hammer - and while you are out drinking, flirting and having fun - I'll be slaving over some planks of wood and some 3 inch nails.

Roll on work next week!

And I never thought I'd say that!!!

Have a good weekend people

Redundancy

2006-02-06T10:20:00.000Z

Jeez - not felt like this for a while.

10 people made redundant a while ago.

8 more a month a go.

I'm stressing!

And all this at exactly the wrong time. Ok - there is never a good time to get made redundant - but just when you have just signed a contract on a new house, have bills to pay and expectations to meet - now if a terrible time to go.

Not that I have any reason I should be made to go. There are only three in our department - and so if one of us was to go we'd be a little under manned.. and I'm not brilliantly paid - so I guess I am not in too much danger.

But still - in the back of my mind...its not a nice feeling

Let the Google times roll

2006-02-03T11:39:00.000Z

That's the crapest title ever!!

Anyway - I have discovered (probably 5 months late) the tool that is Google Desktop v2. Its a smart bit of software, and I urge all users to go check it out. It checks my gmail account automatically. It keeps me upto date with the news. It indexes and sorts all my pics. It tells me the weather (if I can't be bothered to look out of the window). And it shows me maps (not sure why!).

So if you have a Broadband account - its a nice natty little app to have. Ok - it probably takes anonymous usage data and surfing habits and beams them back to Google headquarters - but then so does the Google search engine - and no one moans about using that. I like - and it has prime position on my laptop!

People are so different

2006-02-02T16:28:00.000Z

It appears I get easily astounded. I was astounded earlier this week about the absolute wealth of knowledge that pours out of peoples heads. And not just clever people - I mean everyone. Everyone has something to give someone.

And now I'm astounded again at just how different people are. Does it never hit you slap in the face that there are millions of people on the earth - and every single one is different? And I don't just mean different in looks - but in personality as well.

Take me and a mate of mine as an example. We work together. He is a bit older than me - I'm 29, he is 33 - and we kinda do the same job. But his outlook on life is so different to mine. He is so self confident. He could walk into a room of a 100 people he doesn't know and be the immediate centre of attention. He would know just what to say and who to say it too. He would own the room.

It helps he is a very good looking guy of course (and he knows it) - but its the confidence he exudes that is nothing short of startling - to me anyway.

And then there are his women. He has had 7+ gf in the last year. Some just a couple of week flings, some a bit longer. But they all have lots of similarities.

There are model look alikes.
There all blond.
There all very thin.
They all have very very wealthy families.
And they all have fast sports cars and normally three bed apartments in the middle of Leeds.

(nice use of bullets there - hope your paying attention to my blogging skills!)

Every single one is like that.

And those are just the ones he has had relationships with. That doesn't include the 100's (poetic license - its probably not 100's) he shags, weather in a relationship or not. He wouldn't think twice about doing the dirty on one of his official gfs - as long as no one found out. And after a relationship - he just walks away. No regrets, no tears, no emotions.

And then there is me. In the same scenario - I'd walk into the room of 100 people I didn't know - head straight to the bar, get a drink, drink it quickly. Go to the toilet and hide for 30mins. Go outside and talk on my mobile (with no one) for 30mins, go back to the toilet and hide for a while longer, then go in the room , keep my head down, make no eye contact and try slip away early.

And I've only had three relationships in my life. That's it. And I've never had a one night stand - and I've never cheated. And the girls I have been out with have never been rich, never had expensive cars and houses, have never been model look alikes.

I'm not sure what point I am trying to put across here. I'm not slagging my mate off - he is who he is and he seems happy with this life (I'd be happy if I had his current gf too... *smile*).

I'm really not sure what I am trying to say. Maybe I am just babbling on and putting down on (e)paper how I feel about how and who I am? Maybe I would love to have his attitude for life. Maybe I'd love to have his looks and his women magnet attributes and his self confidence.

Maybe this post started off about the differences in people - and ended up highlighting my insecurities about myself.

Maybe I should stop typing maybe at the start of every sentance. Maybe ;)

I DO wish I was a magnet to women. I DO wish I had (loads) more self confidence. I DO wish I could walk into a room and own it. But - as I am now - I'm happy.

I love my gf. And to a certain extent I love my life. I guess everyone wishes they could change things about them. I just wish I could change quite a lot of things. But there you go again - everyone is different.

Which quite neatly brings me to my original point - I think you'll find!

Ejection

2006-02-02T12:11:00.000Z

It ejected me!

The cheek of it!

Think I pissed it off yesterday!! Hahahaha!

Don't leave me!

2006-02-01T09:12:00.000Z

I could hear. I could sense. My subconscious was screaming at me.

'Stay here - your safe - I'll protect you'

I could feel myself drifting. Alone but content. Safe and secure. At peace. Smiling.

I had to fight it. I had to.

'No you don't. Relax. Your safe. Your warm. I'm your friend.'

Fight it.

'You love me. Don't leave me.'

I broke free. I cut loose. I had to. I owed it to myself.

I opened my eyes. I could sense the cold before I could feel it. I could sense my subconscious recoil in alarm from my change in perception.

I closed my eyes. I drifted.

'That's better - your safe now. Relax. Drift. Be at peace'

I fought back. I would not let it win. I could not let it win.

Every sinew of my body screamed at me.

'Don't leave me. Don't leave me. DON'T LEAVE ME'

And then it happened. I broke free. I resisted, and prevailed. I did it!

I got out of bed. It was tough - but I conquered my bed. I left it there, snivelling. I was cold. I was glum. I knew I had to go to the gym...but I had done it. And god how I wish I was still there - enveloped in warmth - right now! I'm sorry bed - I'll come back to you tonight - I promise!

Anyway - talk about temptation. I'm sat in an office with 3 other people - and all 3 are eating sausage sandwiches. It making my stomach rumble. But I'm going to hold out and not give in.

Following on from yesterday and my Knowledge post - I'm determined to get myself back to how I was a couple of years ago - very fit and very toned. And to do this - I'm going to shame myself on this very blog. I'm going to keep a (public) diary of all training stats and figures. If I can shame myself into getting fit again - I will! So - here it is, the first stats for Taie and his fitness regime.

Weight: 181lbs
Resting Heart Rate: 67
Fitness Test Score: 42
Fitness Test Wording: Low Average

I'll update this every Wednesday - and hopefully the Weight/Resting Heart Rate will come down and the Fitness Score will go up. That's the plan anyway!

Oh - before I go - a quick thank you to Don't Panic for my very first shout out! Way hay! And while I'm on the subject of other people blogs - is there no spell check on Blogger? And is there a way to count the number of people that look at my blog? Anyone know?

Guess I best go back and do some work now then....no doubt I'll be back later to scribble some more ramblings down! I promise - eventually - I'll have something interesting to say!!!

*EDIT* - I found the spell checker. Its right up there, where it says 'Check Spelling'. Easy to miss eh!!!!

We have 2mb lift off

2006-01-31T17:11:00.000Z

At last (well - actually not too long after ordering) I have Broadband installed in my new place. All I need now is contents insurance, wardrobes, drawers, cutlery, tables, chair, settee etc etc and I'm all set!!! Oh - and a Kettle!

But at least I have a connection to the outside world now - and I can stop abusing my works internet connection. 150Mb per Essential Mix soon adds up!

Anyway - I'm really tired and its only 5.15pm. 15mins more and then I can leave this place. I would never have thought that only a few hours ago I was writing about having a fantastic nights sleep. I don't feel that way now!

Knowledge

2006-01-31T12:37:00.000Z

Have you ever been able to get your head around the amount of knowledge in the world?

Its fucking vast.

It just occurred to me (again) while browsing through a few blogs that there is so much knowledge stored up in peoples heads its awe inspiring. It's also - in my eyes - slightly daunting and gives me a feeling of inadequacy. That's probably more an insight on my outlook on life than anything else though.

But if I strip the inadequacy away I am left with a thirst for knowledge - a thirst to improve myself - a thirst to make my self a better person.

I have a hundred different issues I want to iron out, from emotionally issues to physical issues. I have hundreds of topics I want to improve my knowledge of (for work as well as general interest). And yet - I have a thousand distractions that stop me doing exactly that. I guess that's the rub. The people that learn actually spend time learning - instead of the people that want to learn but never do (who spend hours trying to beat there lap times on Mario DS!!!) . Food for thought. Especially for me...

Oh - and before I go - I have to say a thankyou. The pic I have used as my profile pic is actually ripped from someone else photoblog. I'd say thanks to him directly - if I had any idea which blog I got it from. So - on the million to one chance that the photographer of the pic on my profile pops into this blog - thanks a lot!

Stars that twinkle

2006-01-31T09:31:00.000Z

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Sleep!

Glorious wonderful sleep!

There is nothing better than a good nights sleep. Just the feeling of sinking into the matress, falling into an enveloping sleep within seconds and then dreaming of Keira Knightley. Does it get any better!!!

Unfortunately I slept through two alarms, missed my gym sesh and was 20mins late into work. Still - can't have everything can you :)

Addiction to blogging

2006-01-30T16:38:00.000Z

I wonder if there is such a word that describes addiction to blogging?

I've spent almost the entire day - at work - trying to sort out a new look for my blog. I've searched websites, I've tried the defaults, I've imported templates. I've done no real work all day!

Anyway - I've settled on this template - which happens to be the first one I choose at 9am this morning! I guess after I tweak this template - I can more or less concentrate or writing something interesting. Something I've failed to do so far!! I guess my only salvation is that if Tiscali hurry up and install Broadband at my house I'll be able to stop wasting works resources!!

Just as a side point - I hate being skint. I've just moved house and I am struggling to pay all the bills/rent/and stuff. I haven't been out for almost 2 months. Anyone who feels they would like to pay me for viewing this blog - feel free!!

Film of the week!

2006-01-30T12:25:00.000Z

Hay again!

I bought a film on DVD a while ago called Zatoichi - like before Christmas - but have only just had time to view it. And its class!!! I'm not a film critic or expert so I'll just jot down what I thought about the film.

It's set in 19th Century Japan (thats a major plus for me - I seem to be developing a liking for anything oriental) and revolves around a central character, Zatoichi. Zatoichi is a blind, wondering masseur thats travels from town ship to township, keeping himself to himself and living out the rest of his life in peace. Well - I say peace lightly since Zatoichi is also a master swordsman and trained assasin.

Basically - 'Ichi befriends a vegetable seller and her gambling son, and the three of them end up in the middle of a feudal argument between two rival gangs in a small Japanesse township. Ichi has to use all his considerble talent to fight for his life - while protecting his two new friends - as well as two geishas that are introduced into the story around half way through.

The choreography of the fight scenes are beutifully done (even if on occasaion the special effects are slightly suspect). Its not all blood and gore though - there are some genuinely comic and funny scenes in the film that made me laugh out loud - and the final scenes are really uplifting - if slightly bizarre. The script is witty and well written (subtitled) and the camera work first class with some beutiful scenes of Japan in the 19th century. Overall - I loved this film - definately well worth a watch - but not for those that pale at the sight of blood.

Check the link above to see an excellent (professional) review of the film by Midnight Eye.

Original title
Zatoichi

Director
Takeshi KITANO

Cast
Beat Takeshi
Tadanobu ASANO
Michiyo OKUSU
Yui NATSUKAWA
Yuko DAIKE
Taka GUADALCANAL
Ittoku KISHIBE
Saburo ISHIKURA
Akira EMOTO

Running time
116 mins.

Me me me!!!

2006-01-30T09:19:00.000Z

Brrrrrrrrrr!

This entry (incidentally my first entry) might be a bit of a hard entry to write. That's mainly because it feels like it is a zillion degrees below freezing at my desk right now - and my fingers are turning black and I'm getting frost bite. I'm slightly concerned my fingers might break off if I hit these keys too hard! I guess you'll know if that happens since this entry will come to a premature end. Actually - a premature end to this entry might not be a bad thing - stop me from babbling on!

So - anyway - welcome!

Make your self at home - since this is my first entry into this blog.

I used to have a blog over at LiveJournal - but I kinda stopped keeping on top of it and it went into a state of disrepair. Pity too - I spent ages making that blog look cool. Anyway - I junked it - and started again on here. In between time I had a blog at blog.com - but I have no idea what I log on as - so I guess that's gone as well. There was only a few posts on it anyway. And they were dull.

So - I can tell you are dying to ask why I am creating this blog - and adding to the bazillion of other blogs out there. Well - I have discovered I have a n bit of an artistic urge! Not sure why - but I've just started to want to take photos and make films about stuff. I've never felt this way before - but - well - now I do. So I'm gonna use this blog - as well as documenting the world that is Taie, to also put down on paper (or screen) what I have been upto art wise.

Unfortunately - knowing me - I'll loose the urge in a weeks time and this will end up abandoned. I hope not though. I like the idea of having somewhere to rant, somewhere to write about me - anomalously. I like that idea....

So there it is. My first blog. Or - more appropriately - my first babble!!

Oh - and before I go - I have to throw a shout out to a couple of blogs I have been reading for a while now. I am so in love with the way these blogs are written - and they both inspired me to start this blog. I have no idea who these people are - but if you get time - read this blogs - you won't regret it :)

*Bollox - how do you enter links!!!!*

http://jadedcity.blogspot.com/

and

http://flutesalad.blogspot.com/

Do yourself a favour - look at them!!